It's All Good

Reading over yesterday's post, I realise I was being unreasonable, for the following reasons.

1. It's only been three months since I fell in love with her.
2. It's only been a week since the most incredible, transcendent sex we've ever had.

She does need time and space to process the changes in me. I need to be able to demonstrate that these changes are not short-term, but will last for the rest of our lives. It's ridiculous that I would freak out about one botched sexual encounter when we just had a mindblowing one a week earlier. Okay, I'd have liked a repeat the next morning (and afternoon and evening) and a week felt to me like a terribly long time without sex. But the fact is, we only went a week without sex.

I am actually very grateful that things are progressing so well. Because things have been moving forward, a lot of the old problems are being revealed anew, and those are challenging to face. We desperately need some professional help to get us through some of these issues. Obviously I misunderstand a lot of where she's at and interpret it badly. And she does the same to me. So we need some good counselling to deal with each other in a way that doesn't hurt each other so much.

She is wonderful, and we've been having more fun together than we ever have in the past. Things are better now than they ever have been, even though we're technically not together yet (in her mind). I have every reason to be ecstatically joyous about where things are at. And so I need to be.

Thank you, readers, for your comments and support. This is a very difficult time and your encouragement is tremendously valuable and precious to me. VDOPrincess, Joy, Major Boredom, Jen, and Namrata, you are inspiring me to continue sharing this very deep and personal journey on this secret, anonymous forum. Thank you.