Breakthrough

For years I was terrified.

I wanted to love her. I wanted to be perfect. I wanted to make her feel loved and cherished and beautiful and wonderful. But I failed, and that added so much to my depression and self-loathing.

I doubted myself. I had no self-confidence whatsoever. I considered myself a total, complete failure in every way. I was timid, shy, weak, hesitant.

I fell in love with another, and I felt like a god. I felt amazing, powerful, wonderful. And then it all collapsed in my face, and I realised I was a bigger failure than I had ever imagined.

And then I fell in love with my Lady.

I have spent the last 135 days trying to win her back. I've worked very hard, lost 50 pounds, got in shape, kicked depression, and done everything she has asked me to do.

Today I received this from her:

Come to me in strength, my loved one

Come without fear, and I will love, fearless

Come without doubt, and I will doubt not

Come in confidence and I will put my confidence in you

Come, truly loving me, or do not come at all


It is your love that makes you worthy

If you are sure of your love for me, then be sure of yourself

And come to me in strength

Oh God... have I actually won her?

She returns in three weeks...