Pursuit
"I feel like a girl whose boyfriend keeps pressuring her for sex," she said.
It felt like a blow to the stomach. Or maybe a little lower.
She'd talked about us "living together", being "common-law". I didn't think I was "pressuring". But I'd let her know that I'm completely in love with her, that I desired her beauty. I spent time being romantic: flowers, cards, poems, little touches, little hugs and kisses. Occasionally I would make a suggestive comment, in a manner that I thought was light and playful. But apparently this wasn't welcome.
I tried to let her know my perspective. But she maintained her position. "I don't want to know you're even thinking about sex," she said firmly.
I thought to myself, That's a natural byproduct of the y chromosome, I'm afraid. There will very rarely be a time when I'm not thinking about sex. It's part of the male condition. If that were to change, that's indicative of a huge problem that needs to be resolved.
What in the world does "living together" mean, then?
"Oh. I meant as roommates, not as... you know... anything romantic," she said.
Ah. Silly me. How could I have possibly misunderstood that?
It felt like a blow to the stomach. Or maybe a little lower.
She'd talked about us "living together", being "common-law". I didn't think I was "pressuring". But I'd let her know that I'm completely in love with her, that I desired her beauty. I spent time being romantic: flowers, cards, poems, little touches, little hugs and kisses. Occasionally I would make a suggestive comment, in a manner that I thought was light and playful. But apparently this wasn't welcome.
I tried to let her know my perspective. But she maintained her position. "I don't want to know you're even thinking about sex," she said firmly.
I thought to myself, That's a natural byproduct of the y chromosome, I'm afraid. There will very rarely be a time when I'm not thinking about sex. It's part of the male condition. If that were to change, that's indicative of a huge problem that needs to be resolved.
What in the world does "living together" mean, then?
"Oh. I meant as roommates, not as... you know... anything romantic," she said.
Ah. Silly me. How could I have possibly misunderstood that?
posted by Norseman Jack at
08:43
2 Comments:
Reading your account reminds me a lot of what my mom used to be like, she always back-tracked and changed her mind and said certain things never happened. But my dad would do what you are doing, he would pull back and she would come around. Eventually.
So, hang in there. As cruel as it sounds, the more broken you are, the more Christ's love can flow through you to her. But you know that.
I'm pulling for you.
By
joy, at 2/11/05 19:39
Thanks, Joy. This is very hard.
I also strongly suspect that we are under constant supernatural attack, so that we hear the worst possible interpretations of each other's words. Your prayers are desperately coveted.
By
Norseman Jack, at 3/11/05 09:28
Post a Comment
<< Home