Sold to the beautiful lady on the cordless phone
"I have a question for you," she said quietly.
"Go ahead," I replied.
"Have... have you been looking?"
I hesitated. "I'm not sure I know what you mean. Have I been looking for... something else?" I wasn't even sure what I meant, exactly.
"No," she said.
"Can you explain?"
"No."
And so we chatted on the phone for probably half an hour. It's almost become the norm while she's been in New York. At some point her friends are busy with their lives, or she needs some alone-time, and invariably she calls or emails me to call her. And we talk, like friends, almost. It's strange, and strangely wonderful.
After while: "I'm really missing you."
"Really?"
"Yes."
"Well... needless to say I've been missing you tremendously."
"I think," she says carefully, "that we should start couples' counselling when I come back. I think I'm ready for that, now."
My heart leaps. We've talked before; if we are to ever get back together, counselling is imperative. We communicate incredibly poorly with each other, and there's a lot of past hurts and bad habits to work through. Without counselling we will never make it. Even with, it's going to be difficult.
"Okay," I say in a relieved voice. "Okay. That sounds great."
"Oh," she says, almost as an afterthought. "What were you thinking, schedule-wise, for when I come home? You know, from the airport to home."
"Well," I said. "I had a few different plans, depending on where you're at and what you want. I'm picking you up around 5 pm; that's early enough that we could just drive the four hours home. Or, you know, we could stay overnight somewhere, like we did going down. Except I think I'd maybe arrange for the kids not to come this time."
"I like the second idea. Why don't you go with that one?"
"Sold!" I replied in my best auctioneer's voice. "Sold to the beautiful lady on the cordless phone."
"Go ahead," I replied.
"Have... have you been looking?"
I hesitated. "I'm not sure I know what you mean. Have I been looking for... something else?" I wasn't even sure what I meant, exactly.
"No," she said.
"Can you explain?"
"No."
And so we chatted on the phone for probably half an hour. It's almost become the norm while she's been in New York. At some point her friends are busy with their lives, or she needs some alone-time, and invariably she calls or emails me to call her. And we talk, like friends, almost. It's strange, and strangely wonderful.
After while: "I'm really missing you."
"Really?"
"Yes."
"Well... needless to say I've been missing you tremendously."
"I think," she says carefully, "that we should start couples' counselling when I come back. I think I'm ready for that, now."
My heart leaps. We've talked before; if we are to ever get back together, counselling is imperative. We communicate incredibly poorly with each other, and there's a lot of past hurts and bad habits to work through. Without counselling we will never make it. Even with, it's going to be difficult.
"Okay," I say in a relieved voice. "Okay. That sounds great."
"Oh," she says, almost as an afterthought. "What were you thinking, schedule-wise, for when I come home? You know, from the airport to home."
"Well," I said. "I had a few different plans, depending on where you're at and what you want. I'm picking you up around 5 pm; that's early enough that we could just drive the four hours home. Or, you know, we could stay overnight somewhere, like we did going down. Except I think I'd maybe arrange for the kids not to come this time."
"I like the second idea. Why don't you go with that one?"
"Sold!" I replied in my best auctioneer's voice. "Sold to the beautiful lady on the cordless phone."
posted by Norseman Jack at
08:04
3 Comments:
I have been deeply touched by what you post here on your blog. I think you are nobly going about the business of winning your wife back to yourself. She will come back to you, as long as you keep loving her as you have been; remaining as you are: humble, constant, faithful.
I think God must be very blessed by your heart. Someone else commented before on here about how you are like the prophet Hosea, in the Bible. But above that, I think you are reflecting the nature of God; Who loves us when we are unresponsive and unlovable, and loves us when we don't deserve it. But it is that love that brings us to Himself. God has been gracious to you, and now you are being gracious to your wife.
I do hope all will be well with you.
By
My Perfect Sky, at 23/11/05 13:36
Just before I fell in love with her, a pastor read bits from Isaiah 54. It really resonated with me that I could be like this to the Lady, with whom I had been increasingly harsh and cruel. I'll post my paraphrase at the end; you'll want to read the original too.
I can't stress enough; for over a decade I was mentally and emotionally absent. For two years, while she did everything imaginable (EVERYTHING) to win my heart, I was too depressed to even respond. I killed her love for me with neglect. Then, when she demanded a separation, I became furious and killed whatever was left of her love for me with silent rage.
I figure 135 days of repentant wooing is nothing. Two years wouldn't begin to be "fair".
Even though I was horrible for so, so long, I changed. God changed something deep in me. And so, shortly after I changed, I rewrote Isaiah 54 as follows:
-------
“Do not be afraid; you will not suffer shame.
Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated.
You will forget the shame of your youth
and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.
Jack has called you back
—a wife deserted and distressed in spirit—
a wife who married young,
only to be rejected,” says Jack.
“For a brief moment I abandoned you,
but with deep compassion I will bring you back.
In a surge of anger
I hid my face from you for a moment,
but with everlasting kindness
I will have compassion on you,”
says Jack, your devoted servant.
“To me this is like the days of Noah,
when God swore that the waters of Noah would never again cover the earth.
So now I have sworn not to be angry with you,
never to rebuke you again.
--------
By
Norseman Jack, at 23/11/05 22:53
Oh, and I'm really liking your blog, My Perfect Sky. No comments, though?
By
Norseman Jack, at 23/11/05 23:03
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