Fear and Evidence

"I'm afraid," she said. "I'm afraid of getting close to you. I'm afraid that I'll fall in love with you again, and that you'll cheat on me again and hurt me again. Even more. If that's even possible."

"You have every right to be afraid," I replied gently. "I broke your trust. I broke your heart. I hurt you tremendously.

"Not only did I hurt you, but I hurt me, our children, our parents, our reputations... the consequences of my mistakes were incredibly far-reaching.

"I never, ever want to do that again."

She looked at me, her eyes large and fluid, and said nothing.

I didn't know what else to say, so I repeated myself, my throat choking with tears.

"I don't ever want to do that again.

"What I looked for in her, I could have had in you. Between God, and you, and good friends, I have everything I could ever need. I don't need to look elsewhere for love, the way I thought I did. I have everything I want right here."

I could see her heart softening. All I wanted to do was gather her up in my arms and take her to bed and hold her all day long. But I was already late for work, and she needed the time to process my words anyway. So I kissed her and blessed her and left.